The Future of Love
The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships
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5.0 • 3 Ratings
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- $4.99
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- $4.99
Publisher Description
"The future of relationships is moving us toward the vaulting awareness of who we really are as human beings, something we have managed to avoid for a very long time by being so thoroughly committed to convention...This is the future of love--vast love, love beyond boundaries, love without preconceptions and judgments, love without outdated myths--love which can actually be experienced."
At a time when over half of all marriages are ending in divorce, Daphne Rose Kingma, a well-known therapist and relationship expert, has recognized that our familiar ways of thinking about relationships are no longer working. "I have written this book because it is clear that many of our previous assumptions about relationships need to be dismantled," writes Kingma. "As we go through this process, we will discover a number of new ideas: that our relationships can have different forms than we ever imagined; that they will serve different purposes; that they will require different offerings from us. They will also bring us new gifts."
We are in the midst of a sea change, in which not only are many traditional relationships failing, but unexpected new arrangements are beginning to appear; gay marriages are surfacing, step-families abound, and many people are consciously choosing to live alone. As Kingma explains, these transformations should not be feared; instead, they represent a real opportunity. In the past, conventional relationships were often destroyed by an overemphasis on the nuts and bolts of psychology, on working to achieve the unattainable "perfect relationship" while ignoring our most vital selves--our souls. The glorious message of The Future of Love is that the disturbing changes we are all experiencing are actually part of the soul's plan, as it breaks down outdated conventions to bring us a new, fuller understanding of love.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
After more than two decades as a psychotherapist, relationship counselor and author (Finding True Love, etc.), Kingma suggests turning away from issues of the personality to those of the soul in loving relationships. She spends a lot of time criticizing "traditional" marriage ("suffocates the individual vivid soul") and the nuclear family ("intense focus and neurosis"), but she eventually does include them among the many possibilities of "soulful relationships." While her overall message of acceptance for, and celebration of, the many varieties of love seems perfectly sound, it's questionable whether a majority of American adults today would view "multiple-person relationships, relationships that defy age or gender boundaries, or embody astonishing emotional or spiritual acrobatics" as "failures or aberrations." Kingma offers comfort for the occasional pangs of concern over not having fulfilled the myth of get-married-and-live-happily-ever-after, but her discussions of "relaxing boundaries" and forgiveness could be problematic for those facing issues of addiction or abuse. Her implication that changing the "forms" of relationships makes them "illumined" is debatable, moreover. Her most valuable contribution here seems to be her discussion of the "ten qualities of a soulful relationship": self-awareness, aliveness, realism, honesty, generosity, empathy, forgiveness, thanksgiving, consecration and joy. As she wisely makes clear, these soulful attributes can be present, or not, in myriad forms of relationship.
