Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
William Pollack
May 2011 · Penguin Random House Audio · Narrated by William Pollack
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About this audiobook
"While it may seem as if we live in a man's world," reports Pollack, "we do not live in a boy's world." Many boys today are struggling either silently, with low self-esteem and feelings of loneliness and isolation, or publicly, by acting out feelings of emotional and social disconnection through anger and acts of violence against themselves or their friends and families. While academic performance and self-esteem are low, the rates of suicide and depression are on the rise. As the recent tragedies in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and Edinboro, Pennsylvania demonstrated, boys today are in crisis--on a national scale. Real Boys explains why.
Much has been written about the plight of girls in adolescence--their decreased self-esteem, increased emphasis on appearance, gender bias in the classroom, and the confusion about what it means to be feminine. Boys, Pollack discovered, suffer a similar gender identity crisis even before adolescence. Reasearch shows that male infants are more emotionally expressive than female infants. However, as a boy ages, his emotional expressiveness decreases. Why? Because 'The Boy Code'--society's definition of what it means to be a boy--demands that boys suppress or cover up their emotions. As a result, boys develop a "mask of masculinity" to hide their shame, vulnerability and the other feelings they cannot express publicly. The inability to show true emotions hardens a boy until, ultimately, he loses touch with them. Today's boys, Pollack writes, are "only allowed to lead half their emotional lives."
Much has been written about the plight of girls in adolescence--their decreased self-esteem, increased emphasis on appearance, gender bias in the classroom, and the confusion about what it means to be feminine. Boys, Pollack discovered, suffer a similar gender identity crisis even before adolescence. Reasearch shows that male infants are more emotionally expressive than female infants. However, as a boy ages, his emotional expressiveness decreases. Why? Because 'The Boy Code'--society's definition of what it means to be a boy--demands that boys suppress or cover up their emotions. As a result, boys develop a "mask of masculinity" to hide their shame, vulnerability and the other feelings they cannot express publicly. The inability to show true emotions hardens a boy until, ultimately, he loses touch with them. Today's boys, Pollack writes, are "only allowed to lead half their emotional lives."
About the author
William S. Pollack, Ph.D. is the Director of the Centers for Men and Young Men and the Director of Continuing Education (Psychology) at McLean Hospital; and is Assistant Clinical Professor (Psychology) in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He is the Past President of the Massachusetts Psychological Association, a member the Boston Psychoanalytic Society, a Diplomate in Clinical Psychology (ABPP, Board Certified), and a Founding Member and Fellow of The Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity, a division of the American Psychological Association. An internationally recognized authority on boys and men, Dr. Pollack is Founder & Director of the REAL BOYS® Educational Programs. He has served on the U.S. Presidential initiative, The National Campaign Against Youth Violence and is a consultant to The United States Secret Service, including its collaborative Safe Schools Initiative with the U.S. Department of Education.
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