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CHAPTER 1

“No! No! No!”

I bark as loud as I can. But my two-leg, Josh, is still pouring water all over me. And he won’t stop. That’s because Josh doesn’t speak dog. And I don’t speak two-leg.

So I’m stuck standing in this big dog bed. It’s not a soft, fuzzy, comfy dog bed like the one I sleep in. This dog bed is hard and cold. And now it’s wet.

I don’t like hard, cold, and wet.

“No! No! No!” I bark again.

But Josh keeps pouring. Splash, splash, splash.

Shakity, shake, shake! Water flies everywhere!

Josh jumps out of the way. I guess he doesn’t like being wet, either.

Boing! Boing! My paws are bouncing up and down. They want to jump out of this hard, cold dog bed. Here I go . . .

Oomf! “No! No! No!”

Josh is holding me down. And he’s pouring more water on me.

Splash! Splash!

I’m all wet.

Now Josh is pouring something into his paws.

I stick my nose into his paws and take a sniff.

Sniffety, sniff, sniff.

The stuff in Josh’s paws smells sweet. Like a treat.

Lickety, lick, yuck!

That doesn’t taste like a sweet treat. It tastes awful.

Josh starts rubbing the sweet-smelling, yucky-tasting stuff all over my fur. No! I don’t want to smell like a sweet treat. I want to smell like a dog.

“Stop, Josh! Stop!” I bark.

I have to get out of here.

Wiggle, waggle, whee! My paws leap out of the cold, hard dog bed.

Josh tries to force me back in. But I push past him. I run through the house. Josh follows close behind.