Calling in

Calling in "The One" Revised and Expanded: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Calling in

Calling in "The One" Revised and Expanded: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

by Katherine Woodward Thomas

eBookRevised (Revised)

$12.99 

Available on Compatible NOOK Devices and the free NOOK Apps.
WANT A NOOK?  Explore Now

Related collections and offers


Overview

The classic guide to finding love and creating life-altering miracles of happiness and fulfillment, now revised and updated with new insights, stories, teaching points, and transformational exercises.

Are you frustrated by stymied relationships, missed connections, and the loneliness of the search for someone to spend the rest of your life with? In this classic, updated guide to finding deep happiness in love, licensed marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas bridges the gap between wanting to find true love and being truly available to create a fulfilling relationship. Love-seekers today have to deal with a precarious terrain of dating and partnering that seems to encourage a lack of commitment and clarity. Calling in “The One” will empower you to have a radically different experience by shifting your painful patterns in love from the inside out, graduating you from unsatisfying relationships and unleashing your power to manifest the happy, healthy love you desire. 

Based on the Law of Attraction, which is the concept that we attract what we’re ready to receive, the provocative yet simple forty-nine-day program includes a daily lesson, a corresponding practice, and instructions for putting that lession into action in your life. Manifesting meditations, powerful visualizations, and clarifying journal exercises will lead you to recognize and release your hidden inner obstacles to love and help you grow beyond them. At the end of the course, you will be in the ideal state of mind to go out into the world and find your "One."

An inspirational approach that offers a life-affirming philosophy on relationships, Calling in “The One” is your guide to finding and keeping the love you seek.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780593139813
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Publication date: 05/11/2021
Sold by: Random House
Format: eBook
Pages: 384
Sales rank: 83,959
File size: 4 MB

About the Author

Katherine Woodward Thomas, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the New York Times bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. Her popular online programs based on her books have attracted many to become certified coaches of her work. She is a Billboard-charting jazz singer who claimed the #1 jazz artist spot on iTunes for her album, Lucky in Love, which was cowritten and coproduced with the Brothers Koren. She lives in Northern California.

Read an Excerpt

Lesson 1

Expanding Your Capacity to Love and Be Loved


If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realized without work. —Leo Buscaglia

One reason so many of us do not have the love we are longing for is that we’ve not yet become the people we will need to be in order to attract and sustain that kind of love. Most of us have dramatically elevated our standards of what we expect from a romantic partner far beyond what our parents or grandparents ever expected from their relationships. Yet we may not have evolved our level of wellness and maturity to the point where we can manifest and maintain the love that we are hoping to create.

Romantic relationships today are a tentative and uncertain thing. In our postmodern world, where serial monogamy is the new norm and more people over fifty are divorced than widowed, no longer is getting married the safe and secure way to go. Whereas once upon a time people tended to stay together for the long haul no matter what, and perhaps even married out of economic and social necessity, we now seek to form long-term unions in an attempt to create authentically soulful and deeply meaningful lives. Yet, much of the time, falling in love means that we end up standing by helplessly as we watch it all slip through our fingers. Why can’t we seem to hold on to the glorious transcendence of love? Why can’t we seem to harness passion, root it down, and make a home of it?

Some would say that romantic love is an illusion. A trick of nature meant to entice us into procreation. In the aftermath of a devastating breakup, we find ourselves asking, Was he or was he not my soul mate? Was it or was it not real love? The most beautiful moments of our lives become reduced to their lowest common denominator: hormones, lust, and those most dreaded of words—
“It was just infatuation.”

Yet many understand, if only intuitively, that romantic love holds a promise that we have yet to fulfill. Instinctively, we know it holds a key to our expansion. Because romantic love has such a profound capacity to bring out the best—and the worst—in us, many of us have identified it as our newest frontier for spiritual growth and development. Rather than calling us into seclusion, the spiritual path now beckons us deeper into the quality of our connections. This premise is the very crux of the relatively new term “spiritual partnership,” which describes the relationship that most of us aspire to. What exactly is this new kind of union, and how does it differ from the old paradigm of marriage that our parents and grandparents were looking for? A study was done back in the sixties, where young women attending college were asked, “If you met a man who met all of your criteria for a husband yet you did not love him, would you marry him?” More than 70 percent said yes, they would. In other words, as long as the guy came from a good family, had a job, smelled good, and didn’t drink too much, then he must be “The One!” Apparently, the main objectives of the old paradigm were economic stability and morally sanctified sex. Yet what most of us care about today is finding someone who can help us become who we came here to be, and realize the fulfillment of our potential in all areas. Spiritual partnership implies the goal of inspiring and supporting the unfolding of each other’s souls in this journey through life.

An intimate relationship today means allowing ourselves to become immersed in knowing and being known fully by another human being, with all of our brilliance, beauty, failures, and flaws. It means learning the terrain and the language of love through a shared commitment to mutual growth and awakening. It means opening our hearts fully and learning how to love in ways that are vulnerable, authentic, and undefended, while at the same time remaining independent and autonomous in ways that would allow us to live 100 percent true to ourselves. It means going beyond the pervasive ideas of our parents’ generation that romantic union was about martyrdom and sacrifice, and moving into an experience of romantic love as an invitation to creatively expand by generating inclusive win-win solutions that take everyone’s needs, feelings, and desires into account. It means discovering how to be completely responsible for your own feelings and needs by understanding the lens through which you are interpreting, then responding to whatever’s happening between yourself and others. It means honoring your own needs and perspectives while being open to hearing those that are completely the opposite of your own, without needing to make one of you right and one of you wrong. It means holding people accountable for treating you with respect, in ways that are respectful of them. In other words, those who still believe that romantic love and spiritual love are two different things understand little about the direction that either has taken.

This is not a book for those who wish to hide out. This is a book for those who aren’t afraid of a challenge. It is designed to help you get from who you are today to who you will need to be in order to call in the best possible partner for you in this lifetime, and create deep happiness and health in your relationship with that person. That means that the journey must begin with an interest in how one might become a more loving person.

Years ago, long before he became a friend of mine, I heard Jack Canfield, co-editor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, tell a moving story of a woman who’d had a near-death experience. She’d had an accident and was pronounced dead soon after. While dead, she saw the tunnel of light we so often hear about. She followed the light and soon came upon an Angelic Being who was radiating an enormous amount of love. The Being told her that it was not yet her time to die. However, before she was sent back into her body, she was asked two questions. The first was: “What wisdom have you gained in this lifetime?” and the second was: “How have you expanded your capacity to love?”

If you want to be ready to bring “The One” into your life, then you must be willing to grow yourself beyond the person you know yourself to be. Because the person you are today is the same person who’s created the experiences you’ve already had. As they say in the twelve-step programs, “Our best thinking got us here.” As such, your task is to grow yourself healthier and more mature in order to create a space for a remarkable love to take root in your life. As long as we are acting out the wounds of our childhood and in reaction to the disappointments of our past, we will most likely remain frustrated and unfulfilled in our attempts to find true love. However, once we’ve done the work to heal and transform, it then becomes possible for us to bring the best of who we are to others. In return, we will draw in those who are willing and able to bring the best of who they are to us. At the very least, we will be able to distinguish early on those who can’t or won’t do this, knowing that, although this person might have “great potential,” he or she is no one to open our hearts to.

 

In the orchard and rose garden

I long to see your face.

In the taste of Sweetness

I long to kiss your lips.

In the shadows of passion

I long for your love. 

—Rumi

In order to attract an extraordinary love, and sustain relationships that are characterized by authenticity, kindness, and respect, then we must outgrow our tendencies to unconsciously duplicate the relational traumas of our past, and replay over and over again our deepest disappointments in love. Instead, we must consciously evolve our capacity to experience authentic, adult love with a heart that is strong enough to love, even when confronted with all that is not love. Until we do, we will likely either have difficult creating loving relationships, or sustaining the love that life sends our way.

I invite you therefore to give yourself fully to the pathway of happy, healthy relatedness. Build your life upon the wise decision to grow your ability to love and be loved. To expand your capacity to have love, to grow in love, to live in the essence of love. For in order to have a great love, one must begin by becoming a greater lover.


I was there in the beginning and I was the spirit of love. —Rumi 


It’s important to realize that you do not need to be with a partner to open your heart and begin expanding your ability to give and receive love. You simply need the willingness to start by opening yourself to the opportunities to love and be loved that surround you today.

Table of Contents

Preface: My Story xv

Introduction xxix

Week 1 Preparing for Love 1

Lesson 1 Expanding Your Capacity to Love and Be Loved 3

Lesson 2 Looking Through Laura's Eyes 9

Lesson 3 Accessing the Power to Manifest a Miracle 16

Lesson 4 Starting with the End in Mind 24

Lesson 5 Honoring Your Need for Others 30

Lesson 6 Cultivating a Vision of Love Fulfilled 39

Lesson 7 Making the Space for Love 45

Week 2 Completing Your Past 51

Lesson 6 Allowing Loss 53

Lesson 9 Asking a More Beautiful Question 59

Lesson 10 Letting Go of Your Past 64

Lesson 11 Evolving Toxic Ties 71

Lesson 12 Renegotiating Old Agreements 77

Lesson 13 Appreciating Your Sacred Wounds 85

Lesson 14 Treating Yourself as You Want to Be Treated 91

Week 3 Transforming Your Love Identity 99

Lesson 15 Connecting the Dots 101

Lesson 16 Naming Your False Love Identity Beliefs 107

Lesson 17 Waking Up to Your True Love Identity 114

Lesson 18 Relating to Yourself and Others in New Ways 122

Lesson 19 Reclaiming Your Disowned Self 129

Lesson 20 Embracing a Growth Mindset 137

Lesson 21 Engaging a Release Ceremony 145

Week 4 Setting Your Course 153

Lesson 22 Expanding Your Vision of What's Possible 155

Lesson 23 Acting on Your Intention 163

Lesson 24 Clarifying Your Soul's Purpose 170

Lesson 25 Receiving Inner Guidance 176

Lesson 26 Establishing Persona! Integrity 184

Lesson 27 Practicing Prayer and Meditation 191

Lesson 28 Making Wise Choices 199

Week 5 First Things First 207

Lesson 29 Making Commitments 209

Lesson 30 Developing Emotional Literacy 216

Lesson 31 Shifting Where You're Centered 224

Lesson 32 Giving to Yourself What Was Missing 231

Lesson 33 Preparing Your Body for Love 238

Lesson 34 Healing Your Sexuality 245

Lesson 35 Cultivating Solitude 254

Week 6 A Life Worth Living 259

Lesson 36 Being Generous 261

Lesson 37 Choosing to Be Happy 267

Lesson 38 Owning Yourself as Cause 274

Lesson 39 Living the Questions 281

Lesson 40 Listening with an Open Heart 287

Lesson 41 Speaking Up 292

Lesson 42 Becoming "The One" 299

Week 7 Living Love Fulfilled 305

Lesson 43 Living an Enchanted Life 307

Lesson 44 Generating Love 312

Lesson 45 Expanding from "Me" to "We" 317

Lesson 46 Forgiving Yourself and Others 323

Lesson 47 Being Grateful for It All 329

Lesson 48 Becoming Unstoppable 334

Lesson 49 Holding the High Watch 341

Postscript 347

References 349

From the B&N Reads Blog

Customer Reviews