Read an Excerpt

Day 1

You are loved more deeply than you realize.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
—Galatians 2:20

We want to be loved, but the true nature of love is often misunderstood. Many of the relationships we have in this world demonstrate a form of conditional love toward us that we have accepted as normal. Very early in life, we learn there are people who will “love” us if we either do something for them or give something to them. But if we stop doing or giving, their love disappears just as quickly as it came. So we keep doing and we keep giving, hoping to earn just a little more love. But in the end, this becomes an impossible cycle to sustain. Eventually we realize we don’t have the emotional energy to continue this pattern long term.

Conditional love doesn’t satisfy our hearts.

Conditional love breeds insecurity.

Conditional love isn’t love at all. It’s merely the utilitarian use or subtle abuse of another person, whether or not it’s intended as such.

When we spend long seasons of life believing that love is conditional in nature, we eventually begin to despise others and hate ourselves. We resent the fickle ways we’re treated, and we start to mistakenly believe that we may actually be unlovable.

But are you unlovable? Were you placed on this earth to be used like a commodity by other people? No. That is not God’s eternal purpose for you. In fact, He makes it abundantly clear that you’re loved more deeply than you realize.

When the apostle Paul wrote a letter to the churches of Galatia, he made a point to share some very personal information about himself. He wanted the events that took place in his life to demonstrate that God loves His children and displays that love in miraculous ways.

During an earlier season of Paul’s life, before he came to faith in Christ and changed his name from Saul of Tarsus, he actively and intentionally persecuted Christians. He terrorized and threatened them. He helped facilitate their imprisonment and execution. But after coming to faith in Christ, he saw the wrong of his actions and declared that he wasn’t the same person he once was.

I like the way Paul described his transformation: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). Think about these statements for just a moment. What was Paul trying to communicate?

When Paul referred to himself as being “crucified with Christ,” he was making clear that the old Paul (Saul) was dead. He wasn’t the same man. His former ambitions, objectives, and goals were no longer the governing forces in his life. Jesus rescued and transformed him. Saul had died, and Paul had been reborn through faith. He was a new creation. In fact, the way Paul spoke of his new life stressed that he was now led and empowered by Jesus. Christ lived within him and would be the One directing his steps going forward.

This change in perspective was a drastic transformation in Paul’s life. His entire outlook was transformed, and the hope that he now possessed was something he would ultimately give his life for in order to share that hope with others.

What motivated his transformation? I believe Paul was moved by the love of Christ. He had directly experienced unconditional love, and now he was willing to risk his life and well-being to make the love of Christ known to those who still persisted in the ignorance of unbelief.

He continued in Galatians 2:20, “The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Here Paul was telling the Galatian believers that he was convinced Jesus loved him because of the sacrifice He was willing to make on his behalf.

It’s one thing to say, “I love you.” It’s another to demonstrate that love. Jesus displayed the depth of His love by going to the cross in our place, even while we were still living as His enemies. Paul may not have witnessed Christ’s crucifixion with his own eyes, but when he wrote this letter, he could still talk to people who were at the foot of the cross. He had a clear mental image of what Christ endured on his behalf. The knowledge that Jesus would bear that torture for him amazed Paul, particularly since he knew how undeserving he was to be blessed in such a way.

During an earlier season of Paul’s life, he mistakenly believed he had to earn God’s love. Eventually, his heart was convinced that God’s love had been demonstrated to him freely through Jesus, who died in his place. Paul was well aware of the life he’d once led and the mistakes he’d committed, but he was also awakened to the reality that he was loved in a deeper way than he’d once realized. The sacrificial death of Christ confirmed that.

Is this something you remind yourself about? Do you tell yourself you’re deeply loved? Or, like Saul, do you mistakenly believe you have to earn God’s love? How does what you believe about love make a difference in your life?

Years ago, when I first started offering pastoral counseling, a woman asked me if I’d be willing to meet with her and her husband. She was concerned about her marriage and wanted to seek outside help and counsel, so I agreed to meet with them. She expressed exasperation with their marriage. It seemed to her that no matter what she said, her husband wasn’t interested in listening. He also struggled to verbalize what he was feeling. She conveyed that he was sensitive to anything that could be perceived as criticism, and when she tried to encourage him, he resisted her praise.

After I spoke with them both, it became clear to me that the husband had been struggling for decades with the fear that he was both unloved and unlovable. During his youth, a form of conditional love was regularly reinforced. He carried that misunderstanding of love into his marriage, and now he struggled to accept love, praise, admiration, and counsel from his wife. He misinterpreted every attempt she made to speak into his life as an attack on him.

If you could talk to that man, what would you say? What truth would you want him to embrace? How would you pray for him? What message do you think the Lord wants him to start preaching to his heart?

How do you think this man would live differently if he embraced the understanding that he was loved on a deeper level than he could possibly imagine and that his wife’s affection wasn’t tied to his actions? Is this a truth you’ve been speaking to your heart, or do you beat yourself up and drill in a message that you’re unloved and unlovable? Are you mistakenly convinced that God’s love is conditional, just like love you’ve experienced in so many other contexts of your life? Are you willing to begin believing that the absolute love of God is far superior to the false love you’ve been shown in your past?

It isn’t a trite statement to say that Jesus loves you. He demonstrated His love for you when He graciously gave Himself for you. He endured ridicule, shame, and death on your behalf. Then He rose from death as the ultimate victor over every falsehood or principality that crushes your spirit and steals your hope.

You are loved more deeply than you realize. Allow yourself to start embracing this truth, and your heart will be refreshed.

When you have your next less-than-perfect day, remind yourself of the nature of Christ’s love.

When you start believing the lie that you’re unloved or unlovable, take a moment to contemplate why Christ endured the cross on your behalf. He didn’t just tell you He loved you; He demonstrated it in dramatic fashion.

Over the next twenty-four hours, there are going to be all kinds of messages flashing through your mind. Some will align with the teaching of God’s Word, and some will not. Confront the lies with the overwhelming truth of God’s unconditional love for you.

Dwell on This

Today I will remember that in Christ I am loved more deeply than I realize.