If I Disappear
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If I Disappear Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Eliza Jane Brazier (Author), Kristen Sieh (Narrator), Penguin Audio (Publisher)
3.6 3.6 out of 5 stars 685 ratings
Editors' pick Best Mystery, Thriller & Suspense
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“This new novel has more twists and fakeouts than an episode of Serial.” (Rolling Stone)

“An eerie, twisted thriller sure to shake up the most seasoned true crime die-hard." (Harper's Bazaar)

A Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Rolling Stone CNN  E! Online  Buzzfeed New York Post PopSugar Woman's Day Crime Reads  Hello Giggles 

When her favorite true-crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman sets out to investigate and plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession.

Sera loves true-crime podcasts. They give her a sense of control in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She's sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it's time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts.

Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel's small hometown to begin her search. She's convinced her investigation will make Rachel so proud. But the more Sera digs into this unfamiliar world, the more off things start to feel. Because Rachel is not the first woman to vanish from the ranch, and she won't be the last....

Rachel did try to warn her.

Previous page
  1. Listening Length
    9 hours and 7 minutes
  2. Author
    Eliza Jane Brazier
  3. Narrator
    Kristen Sieh
  4. Audible release date
    January 26, 2021
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    Penguin Audio
  7. ASIN
    B088C3CWVQ
  8. Version
    Unabridged
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
  10. See all details
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Product details

Listening Length 9 hours and 7 minutes
Author Eliza Jane Brazier
Narrator Kristen Sieh
Audible.com Release Date January 26, 2021
Publisher Penguin Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B088C3CWVQ
Best Sellers Rank #151,495 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#3,149 in Psychological Thrillers (Audible Books & Originals)
#3,352 in Crime Thrillers (Audible Books & Originals)
#10,087 in Suspense (Audible Books & Originals)

Customer reviews

3.6 out of 5 stars
3.6 out of 5
685 global ratings
An atmospheric and chilling page-turner
4 Stars
An atmospheric and chilling page-turner
Sera Fleece, is divorced and unemployed with the only solace in her life being crime podcasts.When Rachel, the host of Sera's favourite podcast, Murder, She Spoke, goes missing Sera drives out to Rachel's hometown and isolated family ranch. Armed with the knowledge she picked up from Rachel's podcast, Sera is determined to find out what happened to her - even though no one else seems concerned for her disappearance.Let me start of by saying that all of the characters in this book are quite shady and unlikeable - including Sera herself. If unreliable and unlikeable main characters aren't your thing, you probably won't enjoy this.Written as if Sera is talking to Rachel, it's clear that Sera is a little unhinged but no more than the rest of the people on this desolate ranch. The combination of the eerie setting and the constant questioning of every characters motives made this impossible to put down.
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Top reviews from the United States

Nick J Brooks
5.0 out of 5 stars A Thriller you can't stop reading!
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2021
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I just finished my book and loved it! Such an enjoyable read. Fun, exciting, suspenseful, spooky, and surprising. I really loved reading this book. As I was reading I looked forward to the chance I could read more (being a full time mama I was forced to take breaks).

Highly recommend. With a great surprising ending (The beginning, and middle were awesome too). Loved it all and have already shared it with friends : )
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Nick J Brooks
5.0 out of 5 stars A Thriller you can't stop reading!
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2021
I just finished my book and loved it! Such an enjoyable read. Fun, exciting, suspenseful, spooky, and surprising. I really loved reading this book. As I was reading I looked forward to the chance I could read more (being a full time mama I was forced to take breaks).

Highly recommend. With a great surprising ending (The beginning, and middle were awesome too). Loved it all and have already shared it with friends : )
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10 people found this helpful
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Ana Llanos
4.0 out of 5 stars Smart and funny
Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2021
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If your favorite true crime podcaster suddenly disappears would you become suspicious? Would you go looking for her?

That's the situation Sera puts herself in, her favorite podcaster goes missing and she is going to find her 🤯

The book is narrated in a very interesting way, is like Sera is telling Rachel (the podcaster) everything she's doing to find her.

With a witty and funny tone, Brazier manages to keep the story intriguing, while the way society sees women is part of the conversation I could help but relate to it.

"And I think of being young, how women are taught, piece by piece, how they fit into the world. But that is not where it started either. I was born a woman. I was born to disappear."

Recommended if you want to be in an isolated ranch in the middle of nowhere, not knowing who to trust and suspecting of everyone.
4 people found this helpful
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Kristin Guthrie
3.0 out of 5 stars A decent, easy read
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2022
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“But she had a reason to be afraid. She didn’t trust anyone because her own child was a serial killer. Not that they ever knew for certain. At least I don’t think they did. But you can feel it, in your bones, when something is really wrong.”

Sera loves true crime podcasts, and one in particular by Rachel. She feels Rachel is speaking to her and providing helpful tips so that when Rachel stops posting about missing women, and goes missing herself, Sera takes it upon herself to investigate Rachel’s disappearance. The more she intertwines herself with Rachel’s world, the more things don’t seem right.

I REALLY wanted to LOVE this book, but it didn’t happen for me. I absolutely loved the concept as I love listening to true crime podcasts. In fact, when the book uses material from “Rachel’s” podcast, I heard my favorite podcaster’s voice. But, the book fell a little flat for me. I wanted more investigation, more talk about the evidence. There were bits and pieces of that in there, but not enough. The ending was blah as well. First, it felt rushed. It then fast forwarded to 3 months later and I felt there needed to be more before that. At the very ending of the book, I was left so confused. I re-read it thinking I missed something.

Overall, it’s a decent, easy read.
3 people found this helpful
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D. Dirickson
2.0 out of 5 stars Held hostage by a book
Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2021
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A compelling narrator and a missing person mystery suck you in and then hold you hostage. Then, like most modern "thrillers" delivers a surprise twist as a denouement. Sometimes a roller coaster is a thrill, but sometimes its just a runaway car on a track going up and down.
The premise of the book: young depressed woman obsessed by a mystery podcaster who goes missing decides to mount a search to solve the disappearance.
Great premise! But the book itself does not give us ANY likeable characters including the narrator. There is no one to care about including the missing woman/women. Please, authors, don't forget your reader while you are writing. We really do want to like SOMEONE in your books. Too many authors seem to be caught up in a rivalry with each other and to hell with readers - I'm looking at you editors because YOU are the reader at the early stage of the writing process. Stop the gimmicks. We want likeable characters AND a good story.
Setting and description: It's creepy. An isolated "dude" ranch in the mountains struggling against nature and hostile neighbors. The descriptions were excellent and I'm sure there is a place just like this ranch BUT, the topography, layout of the buildings, the natural features of rivers and thickets just never made any sense. Is it me? Can I not find a way for the setting to become more real. Maybe it comes back to the narrator addressing not the reader but addressing the missing woman who grew up in the setting. There is no need to rigorously describe the ranch to a person who grew up there so we are just given vignettes of buildings or natural spots. That the buildings and topography (which are inherent to the plot) do not make logical sense so that to me the true mystery was: what is the crazy layout of this ranch and the town and the other town, etc. I wanted a map/diagram as a front piece.
In the end, I did finish the book reluctantly. I hope this review is thought provoking about the kind of books that are being sold to readers. I am hoarding the books by my favorite authors as I know they are soon to be gone like P.D. James or LeCarre. I'm not seeing any younger writers who can create good characters in good stories ... I see gimmicks and twists.
49 people found this helpful
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sewcrazy
5.0 out of 5 stars So haunting
Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2021
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Very rarely can I devour a book in one sitting these days – mostly because I end up falling asleep after half-an-hour of sitting still. If I Disappear, by Eliza Jane Brazier, is the exception to that rule. Marvelously atmospheric, it’s a fascinating character examination of the main character, Sera, who turns her attention to the mystery of a missing podcaster rather than confront her own demons. Particularly compelling was some of the more nuanced underlying feminist commentary. All this is wrapped up in a taut, chilling suspense novel with an ending I never saw coming.
2 people found this helpful
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Ashley Story
4.0 out of 5 stars Unreliable narrator at it's best with heavy doses of obession
Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2022
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If I Disappear is a surprising, twisted thriller with an ending that left me wide eyed and cursing. Sera is obsessed with true crime podcasts, so much so that when her favorite podcaster, Rachel, misses her scheduled post, Sera immediately knows something is wrong. Sera sets out to find her and is surprised at how little care is shown by the people who are supposed to love Rachel. This second person POV, unreliable (possibly unhinged and disturbed) narrator leaves you on edge the entire time, questioning everything and trying desperately not to give in to the Crazy Woman dismissal. If you want a fresh take on the Crazy Woman and True Crime Obsessed fandom in the midst of a thriller, I definitely recommend this book.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Renzo Mora
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente Thriller
Reviewed in Brazil on December 14, 2022
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A estória demora para pegar o leitor, mas não deixe isso te desanimar. Na segunda metade, a estória começa a se desenrolar e o livro ganha ritmo. A ênfase na virada final é injusta - o livro é mais do que isso.
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Ellie
5.0 out of 5 stars Creepy, addictive and atmospheric
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 18, 2021
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So chilling! I was hooked from the first page and loved the claustrophobic, wild setting. I couldn't guess where the plot was going, it keeps you on the edge of your seat, and I LOVED the final twist which I didn't see coming. A very original and sinister psychological thriller.
One person found this helpful
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FLibbs
3.0 out of 5 stars It was ok...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 29, 2022
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I've given 3 stars because I liked the premise of the book and I didn't guess the plot twist until the end. However, the way the book is written makes it quite difficult to read as it's a bit monotonous being in Sera's head. Also, there were a lot of plot holes and loose ends that weren't tied up, which I personally don't enjoy. The ending is open to interpretation and seemed rushed, which is a shame as once the book gets going it is quite gripping, but the sudden vague and unsatisfactory ending was anticlimactic. Sera herself is very unlikable and there's not really any character development for anybody, but the upside of this is that everyone is a suspect because you don't know what they could be capable of.
One person found this helpful
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