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Chapter 1

The Power of Practice

The Self cannot be cut, nor burnt, nor wetted, nor dried.
The Self is eternal, all-pervading, stable, immovable and ancient.

-Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, verse 24

Cultivating Stability

Stability means many things to many people, but on the spiritual path, it is the ability to remain focused on your objective no matter the obstacles that arise. Stability is rooted in the concept of shraddha, a Sanskrit term that represents the capacity of the intellect to reflect upon teachings, understand them, and make them your own. Shraddha is the ability to pursue knowledge until you become one with it, until the information brings about a transformation in your life, and mere knowledge metamorphoses into your living, embodied wisdom. In the Navratri practice, stability is the foundation for your entire journey. That's why we begin with getting grounded; your feet need to be planted in the ground, literally and metaphorically, to allow you to climb higher toward the ultimate goal of spiritual enlightenment.

Having the power of stability means being able to say yes to people, practices, and situations that support you on your quest for spiritual growth and saying no to what no longer serves you. But cultivating stability is not something that happens just once before you move ahead to something else. Instead, it's a first step you will take again and again as you navigate life's inevitable ups and downs. That's why getting grounded is the first step on the nine-step journey of Navratri practice; it is what enables you to commit yourself today (and again in the future) to living a life filled with purpose, abundance, pleasure, and liberation.

When I began to create this practice, I found myself thinking of the god and goddess look-alike contests that were part of my childhood experience of Navratri. One year my mother and her friend dressed me as Radha, the goddess consort of Lord Krishna who represents the power of devotion. They wrapped me in a gold-and-blue sari that exposed my stomach and attached to the bun in my hair. I was mortified to walk onstage in this bizarre getup. And I was even more horrified when I was announced as the winner since then I had to pose for a photo with the winner of the Krishna look-alike competition.

Starting my nine years of lineage-based spiritual study was the beginning of my attempts to create stability in my own life. As I embarked on what would turn out to be a decade-long journey to true wellness, I looked back on those contests with a strange mix of longing and bemusement. On the outside, I had so closely resembled a goddess that I had won a prize, but on the inside, I felt nothing of Radha's divine nature. I was twenty-five years old and was in my first year of study. I knew that to others I appeared accomplished and calm, but inside I felt disconnected from my true Self, afraid to know her and to confront the pain that I carried with me from a difficult childhood. As I learned and studied more during those first months, I asked myself, "What if being like a goddess has nothing to do with appearance and everything to do with remaking myself from the inside out? What if, instead of searching outside of myself, I went inside to find my power and to find the goddess within?"

That for me was the start of a new life, and I began with Goddess Shailputri, who we celebrate on the first night of Navratri. She lives in your first chakra and helps you get grounded when you start balancing it, as I eventually did, with lifestyle practices that provide refuge amidst the many changes of life.

Knowing Shailputri

Shailputri was a royal princess, and her father, Prajapati, was the king of all of humanity. He invited his subjects from far and wide to join him for festivals and celebrations and, most important, to serve him during these sacred occasions.

One day, Shailputri returned to visit her parents from her home in the Himalayas where she lived with her husband, Lord Shiva, the god of transformation. When she arrived, her father was organizing a great yajna, a huge fire ceremony into which all manner of material things were to be offered, including fruit, flowers, clothing, and money. The idea was that whatever the people let go of would return to them many times over.

Everyone in the world was invited, except for Lord Shiva. King Prajapati was embarrassed that his son-in-law wore leopard skin, had long hair, draped a serpent around his neck, and smeared his face with ashes. Prajapati could see only that Lord Shiva was different; he did not recognize that Lord Shiva was the embodiment of spirituality. He did not understand that the serpent Shiva wore around his neck symbolized how he had conquered his ego and was the master of his mind. He did not understand that Lord Shiva carried the entire holy Ganges River in his long hair, nor did he know of the great penance and spiritual discipline that Lord Shiva had performed, along with countless lifetimes of contemplation and meditation.

Prajapati's arrogance and ignorance outraged his daughter, and she stood up to her father. "Why have you not invited my husband? You've made a great fire so you'll go to heaven, have good karma, and gain more material blessings, but there is nothing spiritual about this!"

Shailputri moved toward the fire to immolate herself in protest of her father's hypocrisy, but she did not actually need to step into the flames. She just said om and was consumed by the all-powerful inner fire of her desire for a new life, one in which she could live with a true sense of devotion and spirituality. She was then reborn as the daughter of the Himalayas and continued her spiritual journey unencumbered by the attachments to material things that had held her back as the daughter of the king.

Our desire for genuine transformation in the modern world is no less intense than Shailputri's and connects us through the millennia to her and to her story. Certainly, the idea of starting again without the parts of our lives that hold us back is enormously appealing. And yet we struggle to begin the process of transformation because to succeed in this endeavor, we must let go of aspects of our lives that are no longer working for us. It feels dramatic-and it is-but we must burn away our old ways to reclaim ourselves and to welcome a more spiritual way of living.

That's where stability comes in. Strip away the external markers of who we are-job, clothes, partners, etc.-and we are left with our core essence. When we connect with that core, we can finally, after years of focusing on the external, find peace by knowing the stability within. Shailputri is the perfect embodiment of this quality, which stems from a firm resolve and willingness to forgo ease in pursuit of a spiritual quest. The way forward may not be easy, but with time, consistency, and determination, being connected to and nurturing the stability within you will create a new and deeper kind of comfort. Such is the power of Shailputri.

In addition to representing stability, Goddess Shailputri is also a divine embodiment of our perfect Mother Earth. I refer to Mother Earth, Mother Nature, and Shailputri interchangeably throughout the rest of this chapter because she is the protector of all living beings: humans, animals, birds, trees, and everything else-including you and me. As someone who never felt safe or protected growing up, I loved learning about Shailputri and have come to think of her as a protector who always has my back when I face trials and tribulations. A true friend, she is solid like a tree, and I can depend on her fully and forever.

Stability & the First Chakra

The power of stability is connected with the first chakra (known as the "root chakra"). Its location is said to be the base of your spine. This is where spiritual energy is activated, and it rises upward from here toward the highest chakras, where it leads to the ultimate experience of enlightenment. This first "root chakra" is associated with the earth element and the sense of smell. Cultivating the power of stability by balancing this first chakra brings you the gift of great health, along with a solid foundation to be able to continue to progress along your spiritual journey.

Shailputri is depicted riding a bull, which represents the weighty stability of her grounded-ness. She carries a lotus flower. And a beautiful way to visualize your root chakra is as the roots of a lotus. In Eastern wisdom traditions, the lotus is a powerful symbol of the awakening of your spiritual power. For the lotus of spiritual knowledge to bloom in your life, you have to ensure its roots are planted firmly in the ground. In your body, you want to feel steady at your base, to cultivate strong and stable "roots," so your energy can then rise to higher chakras.

Taking Inventory

For most of my life, I was nothing like Shailputri. By the time I had finished college and begun working in marketing communications in New York, I felt depleted from a lifestyle that had me going 24/7. Everything that was supposed to give me peace, comfort, and joy no longer worked. I knew that I needed a change, and I frequently longed for some sort of rebirth even though I wasn't quite sure what that meant.

I first spent six months studying yoga and Ayurveda in India, and then I moved to California and began teaching yoga and meditation to young people in juvenile detention centers. For almost two years, I focused on healing others and repressed my own pain with negative coping strategies that frequently made things worse. Although I saw that I moved others through my teaching, I was in hiding, not only from myself and others but also from my parents, who disapproved of the pivot I had made from business to the nonprofit world.

Prior to creating and beginning this practice in earnest, I had made a pilgrimage across the U.S., Spain, Australia, and India looking for answers to my challenges. I could not sleep at night, had trouble digesting my food, and suffered from mysterious aches and pains as well as lots of anxious, racing thoughts. Even though I didn't know it at the time, having an imbalanced root chakra means you regularly experience much of what I did. Fear, anxiety, and flashbacks can affect more than your mind. Physically, an imbalanced root chakra can give you issues with your colon, bladder, and bowels as well as lower back pain and discomfort in your legs or feet. Eating disorders are a strong sign of root chakra imbalances. A general feeling of insecurity can also indicate that your root chakra needs balancing.

Like me, you may know that you need to do things differently, that your old patterns no longer serve you, and that dabbling in new, healthier habits isn't ever really going to get you where you want to be. As the process of change began for me, I longed for something deeper, something that would provide meaning and structure, something that would enable me to live a life of purpose without abandoning myself in the process. Whether consciously or subconsciously, I returned to Navratri and to the power of the goddesses that I had celebrated during my childhood.

The first step was to take inventory of myself, to look in the mirror so that I could really see myself, both the positive and the negative. Perhaps you know the feeling, as you shuffle through your own life experiences, looking for a time or even a moment in which you felt whole. You might be spending far more energy than you'd like pretending away negative or even traumatic experiences or feelings that you know you must face. Perhaps you're looking to the future and hoping to be happier with yourself, in relationships and at work, but you're not quite sure how to begin that process. In this chapter, I will show you how.

Questions to consider when you're taking inventory around cultivating the power of stability:

1.            What kinds of activities make me feel out of control (procrastinating, talking too much, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, watching too much television, scrolling Instagram one too many times, overexercising, traveling a lot, etc.)?

2.            When I do activities that make me feel out of control, how do I feel physically and emotionally?

3.            How would I feel if I had more stability in my life?

4.            Is there some kind of pain that being all over the place is helping me avoid? Can I name it to begin to tame it?

5.            How could developing more stability in my life benefit me in terms of my health and spiritual journey?

Starting a Practice

Without a physical, practical grounding, it's hard to tap into your spiritual being to do the quiet, hard work of knowing and trusting the wisdom of your own soul. You already have everything you need to heal yourself. Once you begin to tune in to the sound of your inner voice, Goddess Shailputri can speak to and comfort you, as she does to me. It's a matter of trusting yourself and believing that the majestic beauty and power of the goddess Shailputri lives inside you.

If you've ever tried to start something new, you know how difficult it can be to make it a consistent habit. Yet, when you stick to a spiritual or wellness practice, the practice itself supports you in overcoming both mind and body challenges and can help you evolve spiritually. What follows is my process for starting and integrating the kinds of new practices that have been extremely helpful for me in deepening my own wellness.

Set an intention and write it down.

Whenever I do this, I often stare at a blank page for some period of time until inspiration arrives. Once your intention has come to you and you have written it down, return to it by reading and rereading it often.

Setting intentions in writing has been one of the most potent tools for personal transformation in my life. Whenever I write my intentions, I find I receive opportunities in my life to actualize them. Usually this means I am confronted with the exact challenges I need to consistently surrender to the power of my intention, to overcome the obstacles on my path.

When I finally decided enough was enough, I set a sankalpa, or resolved intention, to:

Find the strength to let go of what needs to be let go,
The courage to reclaim what needs to be reclaimed
And the wisdom to hold on to only that which is eternal
and changeless.