Table of Contents

How to Get the Most out of This Workbook 1

Part 1 What Determines How You Love

1 Why Every marriage Gets Stuck 7

2 The Revealing Question You Need to Answer 13

3 Imprints of Intimacy from Our First Lessons in Love 19

4 Ideal Love Lessons: The Secure Connector 26

Part 2 Styles That Impair How We Love

5 The Avoider Love Style 37

6 The Pleaser Love Style 46

7 The Vacillator Love Style 56

8 The Chaotic (Controller and Victim) Love Styles 67

9 Identifying Your Love Style 80

Part 3 Duets That Damage How We Love

10 The Vacillator Marries the Avoider 87

11 The Pleaser Marries the Vacillator 94

12 The Controller Marries the Victim 101

13 The Avoider Marries the Pleaser 107

14 The Avoider Marries the Avoider 113

15 The Pleaser Marries the Pleaser 119

16 The Controller Marries the Vacillator 124

17 The Vacillator Marries the Vacillator 130

18 The Controller Marries the Avoider 136

Part 4 Changing How We Love

19 The Comfort Circle 145

20 Seek Awareness 158

21 Engage 167

22 Explore 176

23 Resolve 186

24 Seeing into Your Spouses Soul 193

Soul Words 196