Read an Excerpt

Could This Be Magic?

A Vietnam vet, sole survivor and sole witness to the death of his entire squad during a fierce jungle battle, tormented by survivor's guilt.

A college senior, distraught over the breakup with his high school sweetheart, on the verge of flunking out.

A prominent NFL player wanting to improve his game performance.

A four-year-old girl, jealous and threatened by her new adopted brother.

A highly successful sixty-six-year-old executive who has lived his life under a cloud of depression and self-recrimination since accidentally shooting his best friend when he was sixteen.

A woman dangerously postponing an operation because she is too frightened to have the surgery.

A young lawyer whose boyfriend's slovenly habits are driving her up the wall.

A man with a history of panic attacks, dreading seeing his father at his upcoming wedding after many years of not speaking.

What do these seemingly diverse people have in common? All of them experienced immediate and lasting relief from their troubles, many after years of painful suffering, using the techniques of Emotional Self-Management—ESM.

True Tales of ESM

Does the idea that you can instantly get over your fears or your sadness, that you could feel more relaxed and balanced in your everyday life, sound too good to be true? Well, we mean exactly what the title says: instant emotional healing. When you master the skills presented in this book, you will be able to heal, often in one session, long-standing, troubling issues from your past: grief over a divorce, a phobia about freeway driving, a long-festering anger over a business deal gone sour. You will have a set of tools to help you immediately handle the day-to-day stresses of your life: a bumper-to-bumper commute, a critical boss, the remodeling of your kitchen, your anxiety about paying the bills or the presentation you have to make at work next week. You will work more productively and perform at a higher level.

Instant healing? Even from lifelong problems? From fear and anxiety, anger and jealousy and phobias? These seem like extraordinary claims. But all of the people mentioned earlier were treated in our offices, typically in one to three sessions. To give you an idea of how the methods of ESM can be used for a wide variety of emotional issues, from minor irritations to major traumas, we are going to share with you a few cases drawn from our experiences. (Names and incidental details have been changed to protect the confidentiality of our clients.)

Nearly three weeks after he escaped his kidnappers, Gunther continued to be withdrawn and frightened. When he arrived at my office, he seemed like a broken young man, his shoulders hunched into the upturned collar of his leather jacket, his eyes darting nervously around the room. Nightmares plagued his sleep; he was unable to leave the house without breaking into a cold sweat. It had been a horrific ordeal for the whole family, as they worried about Gunther and negotiated the terms and logistics of the sizable ransom for his release with the nervous and off-balance kidnappers. By the time Gunther came to see me, I had already treated his mother and sister for their own stress and sleeplessness. "How often do I have to come here?" he asked. "I don't know how many times I can come back." At first I thought Gunther was so disoriented that he was worried about the expense that his family would incur. But, I soon learned, he was terrified of being taken captive again. When I told him that what was upsetting him now would be gone by the time he left in the next hour, he didn't believe me.

We quickly went through the protocol for trauma, repeating the sequence for a couple of particularly terrifying memories of his time in captivity. He recalled the day when his skittish and alcohol-fueled captors bound and blindfolded him and moved him from place to place four times in the trunk of a car; a morning when they thought they were being tricked by Gunther's family and threatened to kill him right then and there. By the end of the session Gunther's whole demeanor had changed. He relaxed in his chair, where before he had been stiff and watchful. For the first time, he was able to speak about his ordeal without his heart pounding. Although still subdued, he smiled and thanked me.

The Gunther who returned to see me a few days later seemed like a different person. He was again the confident and renowned financier, making plans for a major new project. The nightmares had not returned since the first treatment. He reported that since our meeting, after the weeks of stoicism since he escaped his captors, he finally had been able to cry. He had spent many hours during the past few days talking with his family; they learned every detail of his captivity, and they told him about their ordeal and their fear for his life when it looked like the ransom dropoff had been botched.

There was more healing work ahead for Gunther and for his family. We continued to work together for three more sessions, as the layers of guilt, fear, and anger surfaced. But Gunther was himself again. He was no longer being held prisoner by feelings and memories that were blocked from his awareness.

***

A business friend sent his secretary to us for help. For three years Amanda had been unable to get over her breakup with a boyfriend who had left her for another woman. She thought about him obsessively and found it nearly impossible to concentrate at work. (Hence the recommendation from her boss.) She wasn't dating and slept poorly due to recurrent dreams about her lost love. In the past year she had become progressively reclusive and depressed. In short, Amanda was suffering from a broken heart.

I taught Amanda how to self-administer a simple sequence of tapping on specific meridian points while she focused on her problem. (That was easy for her to do.) I watched as Amanda's anxiety level dropped, and her jaw relaxed. Within a few minutes she said, "I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him for three years."

Amanda called the next day to report that she still felt as good as she had in the office, and she'd gotten a good night's sleep for the first time in a very long while. A week later she called again to say, "I can hardly believe it. I feel like I've gotten my life back again. I don't know what happened, but I'm not thinking about him like I was. In fact, I can't understand now why I was so obsessed. He was really a jerk. Thank you for helping me live again."