Understanding the Tin Man: Why So Many Men Avoid Intimacy

I have readt this book on the heals of having read Women Who Love too Much and I should say that they should most certainly be read back to back. One without the other gives an insiteful picture into the wrkings of the male/feamle approach to relationships but when read together we come away with a more wholistic view of how we as men and women so often end up with each other. That is , and I can only speak for myself, but for years I found myself with the Tin Man and the men in my life found that they were dealing with a women that was desperately trying to heal or fix the min the same way that I had forever attempting to engage in damage control in my early life growing up in a dangerously chaotic and emotionally disconnected family life. When it came time to start forging relatiopnships of my own I naturally grvitated towards men like the Tin Man. They had all the wounds that I had, by that point, a deep almost survival based drive to 'fix'. Not for his sake but rather for mine. I needed to turn him into what I never had. To rescue him and make him my 'loving daddy'. This combination is a toxic mix and I wonder how many other couples are coming from the same wounded place and bringing their distorted language of childhood love and experiences to the bedroom as adults. Certainly these are both great books on their own but I have suggested for a number of couples to read them as a set and it has proven cathartic for all, including myself. As an aside, I would like to make one suggestion. Men in particular have been programmed by organized religion..Catholic Church included, to disconnect from their emotional needs. From their perspective it was only ever crucial that men and women were more intimate with the church then with their intimate partners.