Synopses & Reviews
In today's world, it is more acceptable to be depressed than to be lonely-yet loneliness appears to be the inevitable byproduct of our frenetic contemporary lifestyle. According to the 2004 General Social Survey, one out of four Americans talked to no one about something of importance to them during the last six months. Another remarkable fact emerged from the 2000 U.S. Census: more people are living alone today than at any point in the country's history—fully 25 percent of households consist of one person only. In this crucial look at one of America's few remaining taboo subjects—loneliness—Drs. Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz set out to understand the cultural imperatives, psychological dynamics, and physical mechanisms underlying social isolation.
In The Lonely American, cutting-edge research on the physiological and cognitive effects of social exclusion and emerging work in the neurobiology of attachment uncover startling, sobering ripple effects of loneliness in areas as varied as physical health, children's emotional problems, substance abuse, and even global warming. Surprising new studies tell a grim truth about social isolation: being disconnected diminishes happiness, health, and longevity; increases aggression; and correlates with increasing rates of violent crime. Loneliness doesn't apply simply to single people, either—today's busy parents "cocoon" themselves by devoting most of their non-work hours to children, leaving little time for friends, and other forms of social contact, and unhealthily relying on the marriage to fulfill all social needs.
As a core population of socially isolated individuals and families continues to balloon in size, it is more important than ever to understand the effects of a culture that idealizes busyness and self-reliance. It's time to bring loneliness—a very real and little-discussed social epidemic with frightening consequences-out into the open, and find a way to navigate the tension between freedom and connection in our lives.
Review
"Thought-provoking, engagingly lucid . . . [Olds and Schwartz] have written a wise, balanced, and evocative inquiry; their finger is on the pulse of something very real."
O, The Oprah MagazineDrs. Olds and Schwartz have written a book that is scientifically rigorous and socially acute, delving deep into the latest research on the neurobiology behind our need for connection and the adverse effects of social isolation, while also unpacking the dangerous cultural myths that would deny these needs. Hooray for Olds and Schwartzs sagacity, lucidity, humanity, and practicality.”Dr. William Pollack, author of Real Boys
"Olds wrote the book with her husband, Dr. Richard Schwartz, because, she said, she wanted to bring loneliness 'out of the closet.' The two were struck by findings from the General Social Survey (conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago), showing that people reported having fewer intimate friends in 2004 than they had in 1985. When asked how many people they could confide in, the average number declined over that same time period from three to two. In 2004, almost a quarter of those surveyed said they had no one to discuss important matters with in the past six months; in 1985, only 7 percent were devoid of close confidantes."
Katherine Seligman, San Francisco Chronicle
"An intriguing, cautionary critique . . . [a] call to break through the potentially narcissistic intensity of the therapeutic encounter."
Richard Handler, Psychotherapy Networker
"This recent addition to the sociological and psychological literature on loneliness is a substantive contribution. . . . The authors capture the essence of our depressed and disjointed culture, especially now that the economy is failing and workaholism is no longer a viable refuge for many. They offer no foolproof solutions, but they do successfully generate awareness of the problem and encourage the ubiquitous lonely Americans to seek attachment and commitment as they pursue happiness. Highly recommended."
Library Journal
"There's been plenty written this year about loneliness, but little of it is as revealing as The Lonely American. . . . Harvard psychiatry professors Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz get right down to illuminating the social impulses that have pushed us apart, from deep cultural myths (such as the self-reliant American) to more basic narratives that have slipped into daily life (It's too bad that we've lost touch, but that's just the way it is)."
Julie Hanus, Utne
"The Lonely American is a valuable book. . . . It is one of the few books that manages to make social psychology appear interesting and able to tell us something that we did not already know."
Christian Perring, Metapsychology
"In this haunting book, Drs. Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz have pinpointed the intriguing process that drives us to seek out solitude and then defend our choice even when it makes us miserable. . . . While The Lonely American is at times a heartbreaking book to read, its silver lining comes from the simplicity of the solution Olds and Schwartz propose: reach out rather than withdraw. They argue powerfully that the 'obligations' many Americans have sought to avoid may just be the salvation for which they secretly long."
Emily F. Popek, PopMatters
Synopsis
In our culture its more socially acceptable to be depressed than to be lonely. Yet loneliness is the inevitable by-product of our frenetic contemporary lifestyle. In this marvelously acute critique of how we live, Drs. Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz show how the American way of life can lead to social isolation. Calling on their extensive clinical experience, new social surveys, and recent research on the effects of social exclusion, Olds and Schwartz uncover the ripple effects of social isolation in areas as varied as physical health, childrens emotional problems, substance abuse, violent crimeeven global warming.
About the Author
Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz are both Associate Clinical Professors of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Olds teaches child psychiatry and Dr. Schwartz teaches adult psychiatry at the McLean and Massachusetts General Hospitals. They are both psychoanalysts. Married to each other and with two grown children, they each maintain a private practice in Cambridge, MA. They have written two other books, Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life (1996, Carol Publishing Group) and Marriage in Motion (2000, Perseus Publishing Group).
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1 The Elephant in the Room
CHAPTER 2 Frantic without a Peep:
Busyness as a Virtue and a Curse
CHAPTER 3 Self-Reliance:
Do Lonesome Cowboys Sing the Blues?
CHAPTER 4 Left Out:
An Organism under Stress
CHAPTER 5 Free at Last:
American Living Arrangements
CHAPTER 6 The Technology of Relationships:
A Brief Review
CHAPTER 7 Love and Marriage in a Busy World
CHAPTER 8 The Ripple Effects of Increasing
Social Isolation
CHAPTER 9 Social Disconnection and the
Mental Health Industry
CHAPTER 10 Staying Limber
Acknowledgments
Notes
Index