Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
480
Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
480eBook
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Overview
Part One shows how to prepare one’s mind and how to help others, before, during, and after death. The author explains how spiritual preparation for death can completely transform our relationship to the end of life, dissolving our fear and helping us to feel open and receptive to letting go in the dying process. Daily meditation practices, the stages of dying and how to work with them, and after-death experiences are all detailed in ways that will be particularly helpful for those with an interest in Tibetan Buddhism and in Tibetan approaches to conscious dying.
Part Two addresses the practical issues that surround death. Experts in grief, hospice, the funeral business, and the medical and legal issues of death contribute chapters to prepare the reader for every practical concern, including advance directives, green funerals, the signs of death, warnings about the funeral industry, the stages of grief, and practical care for the dying.
Part Three contains heart-advice from twenty of the best-known Tibetan Buddhist masters now teaching in the West. These brief interviews provide words of solace and wisdom to guide the dying and their caregivers during this challenging time. Preparing to Die is for anyone interested in learning how to prepare for death from a Buddhist perspective, both spiritually and practically. It is also for those who want to learn how to help someone else who is dying, both during the time of illness and death as well as after death.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9780834828971 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Shambhala |
| Publication date: | 07/09/2013 |
| Sold by: | Penguin Random House Publisher Services |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 480 |
| Sales rank: | 227,232 |
| File size: | 1 MB |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Foreword Tulku Thondup Rinpoche 1
Introduction 3
Part 1 Spiritual Preparation
1 What to Do For Yourself Before You Die 15
Living a Good Life, Learning to Let Go 15
Practices and Teachings to Prepare You for Death 18
Shamatha Meditation 18
Vipashyana Meditation 21
The Four Reminders 22
Doctrinal Preparation 26
Tonglen 28
Reverse Meditations 29
Pure Land Practice 33
Preparation for Sudden Death 37
Noble Truths 38
Devotion 42
The Bardos and the Trikaya 44
Mind Leads All Things 53
Phowa 54
Shitro and Vajrasattva Practice 57
Working with Passion 58
Insurance Dharma 59
Dharma Wills and the Dharma Box 61
Final Advice 63
2 What You Can Do for Others Before They Die 65
3 What to Do for Yourself As You Die 67
Letting Go 68
Dissolution and Signs 70
Outer Dissolution 73
What Is Happening? 76
Inner Dissolution 78
Tukdam 82
The Peaceful and Wrathful Visions 83
The Hourglass 85
Conclusion 89
4 What to Do for Others as They Die 91
The View 91
Sacred Listening 94
Hopes and Fears of the Dying 96
Holding Environments 97
Creating the Environment 100
Looking Forward 101
Advice from Sogyal Rinpoche 102
Telling the Truth 105
Fears about Dying 106
Unfinished Business 107
Giving Hope and Finding Forgiveness 107
Saying Goodbye 108
Toward a Peaceful Death 109
By the Bedside of the Dying 110
Dedicating Our Death 111
Letting Go of Attachment 112
The Grace of Prayer at the Moment of Death 113
The Atmosphere for Dying 113
Esoteric Practices 115
5 What to Do for Yourself After You Die 117
The View 117
First Step 121
After Remembering 123
Other Practices 127
Advice from The Tibetan Book of the Dead 127
Blocking 129
Bright and Soft Lights 132
Choosing 133
6 What to Do for Others After They Die 139
The View 139
When to Help 142
The Power of Merit 144
Reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead 148
Sur Offering 149
Commissioning Monasteries 150
Monastic Rituals and Ceremonies for the Dead 151
Gelugpa Rituals 156
Summary 158
Part 2 Practical Preparation
7 Before Death Approaches 161
Legal Issues 163
More on Living Wills and Advance Directives 169
Legal Concerns Before, During, and After Death, by Alex Halpern, JD 173
Wills 175
Disposition of Property 178
Trusts 178
The Living Will and the Medical Power of Attorney 180
Demystifying Hospice: An Underused Service at End of Life, by Beth Patterson, MA, LP C, JD 184
The History of the Hospice Movement 184
The American Hospice Movement and the Medicare Hospice Benefit 185
Buddhism and the Hospice Movement 186
The Services of Hospice 187
What Does Hospice Care Look Like 188
The importance of Managing Pain 189
Conclusion 190
8 Caring for the Dying 191
The Needs of the Dying, by Christine Longaker 191
The Five Psychological Stages of Dying and Medical Issues Around Death, by Mitchell Gershten, MD 197
The Five Psychological Stages of Dying 198
The Five Stages in Loved Ones 200
Biological Changes 200
Hydration, Nutrition, and Pain Control 203
Physical Signs and Symptoms of Dying, by Andrew Holecek 206
Spiritual Matrix 217
Empty the Disease 219
9 After Death 223
After-Death Care, by Karen Van Vuuren 223
Caring for Our Own Dead-Is it Legal? 224
Funeral Directors 225
First Steps Following an Expected Death 226
Care of the Body After Death 227
Rigor Mortis 227
Don't Do It Alone 228
A Sacred Space 228
A Suggested Checklist of Items for Physical Care of the Body 218
Bathing 229
Dressing 230
Temporary Preservation Methods 230
Dry Ice 231
Caskets 232
Unexpected Death 232
Odors and Changes at Death 233
Options for Final Disposition-Cremation or Burial 234
Burial at a Conventional Cemetery 234
Green Burial in an Established Conventional Cemetery 234
Green Burial at a Conservation Burial Site or Green Burial Preserve 235
Home Burial 235
Cremation in a Conventional Crematory 236
Open-Air Cremation 237
What to Do with the Cremains 238
Other Options for Final Disposition 238
Donation 239
Exposing Children to Death 239
Working with Grief, by Kim Mooney 241
Working with Grief from a Buddhist Perspective, by Andrew Holecek 246
The Relative Approach 246
The Power and Peril of Pain 248
Anticipatory Grief 250
Compassion and Devotion 251
The Absolute Approach 252
The Joy of Inter-being 255
Conclusion 257
10 Difficult Issues 259
Organ Donation 261
Euthanasia 262
Suicide 265
Abortion and Miscarriage 268
Death of a Pet 270
Conclusion 271
Part 3 Heart Advice from Spiritual Masters
Heart Advice from Spiritual Masters 275
Anam Thubten Rinpoche 275
Anyen Rinpoche 277
Bardor Tulku Rinpoche 277
Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche 279
Dilyak Drupon Rinpoche 280
Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche 283
Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche 286
Jetsun Khandro Rinpoche 287
Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche 288
Lama Tharchin Rinpoche 289
Mingyur Rinpoche 291
Namkha Drimed Rinpoche 292
Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche 297
Tenga Rinpoche 299
Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche 300
Thrangu Rinpoche 302
Tsoknyi Rinpoche 303
Tulku Thondup Rinpoche 306
Acknowledgments 309
Appendix 1 Checklists 311
Spiritual Checklist 311
Farewell Checklist 312
Bardo Package 314
Practical Checklist 315
Other Contacts to Be Made After Someone Dies 318
Financial Responsibilities After Death 319
In the Event of Sudden Death 320
Be Aware 321
Appendix 2 Things You Can Write to Prepare for Death 325
Letters of Forgiveness, and Saying Goodbye 325
Writing Your Own Eulogy and Obituary 325
Appendix 3 Depression and Grief 327
Symptoms That Suggest a Bereaved Person Is Also Depressed 327
Who Is at Risk for Depression After a Loss? 328
Treatment for Grief and Depression 328
Depressive Grief vs. Depression 329
What Might I Expect When I Am Grieving? 330
Notes 333
Selected Bibliography 397
Contributors 407
Index 409
What People are Saying About This
"Presents many different points of view and practices found within Tibetan Buddhism, and the author is skillful in introducing them within their proper context, so that the reader can understand their underlying significance. Particularly inspiring is the 'heart-advice' in Part Three, drawn from interviews with a selection of Tibetan masters. This advice ranges from a focus on specific rituals to the simplicity of the Dzogchen approach, but all emphasize the fundamental importance of one's state of mind: for those who are dying, letting go, and for those who attend them, love."—Francesca Fremantle, translator of The Tibetan Book of the Dead