Compelling People
The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential
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4.3 • 29 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
Required reading at Harvard Business School and Columbia Business School.
Everyone wants to be more appealing and effective, but few believe we can manage the personal magnetism of a Bill Clinton or an Oprah Winfrey. John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut trace the path to influence through a balance of strength (the root of respect) and warmth (the root of affection). Each seems simple, but only a few of us figure out the tricky task of projecting both at once.
Drawing on cutting-edge social science research as well as their own work with Fortune 500 executives, members of Congress, TED speakers, and Nobel Prize winners, Neffinger and Kohut reveal how we size each other up—and how we can learn to win the admiration, respect, and affection we desire.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
When people look at us, what are they seeing? Most of us don't realize what signals we're sending, or how, and on what, people are judging us. Neffinger and Kohut, communications strategists and presentation coaches who met writing speeches and editing articles for Harvard faculty, posit that initial character judgments are based on two traits: strength and warmth. As they write, "We live most fully when we cultivate both in our lives, when we balance a high degree of individual capability with an unflagging regard for the needs and interests of others." Strength is the Ayn Randian show of will and power, and warmth is the Beatles-esque emanation of love and charm. The trick is in figuring out when to project which, and in what balance. The authors address the elements that affect how we make judgments, including gender, age, race, sexual orientation, posture and body language, style, leadership qualities, and workplace behavior. While their points are arguably true, the meandering, storytelling tone (it's notable that there's an epilogue, rather than a conclusion) doesn't do their theory any favors. They've stretched an article's worth of material over a full book.
Customer Reviews
Finally a communications book that doesn't put you to sleep
The connections that this book helped me make are priceless in comparison to the cost of this little gem. The real world examples helped explain what the hell 'je ne sais quoi' actually is. I was actually surprised to love this book.
A great read for anyone!
A friend of mine recommended this book, she had done some speech training with these guys and raved about the tricks and tips that they gave for gaining confidence in how you carry yourself through the world. It did not disappoint. What I really liked about this enjoyable how-to-be handbook is that you can read it cover to cover, then go back to certain chapters for quick refreshers when you have an event or need inspiration. Surprisingly fun with lots of relatable cultural references, not at all dry and boring like other books that I have attempted to get through on the subjects of interaction and perception. This one has earned a permanent place on my bookshelf.