Synopses & Reviews
Love, Romance, and Great Big Sexuality for Everyone
Big Big Love is the only one-stop-shopping handbook on relationships, sexuality, and big sexy confidence for people of all genders, sizes, and sexual orientations who know that a fantastic love life doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the number on the bathroom scale. Covering everything from dating to sex toys to getting on top, this guide also features tips on navigating tricky topics like making peace with your belly, coping with weight-related prejudice, and creating a happy, satisfying sex life in a culture where no body is ever perfect enough.
This freshly illustrated update of the 2000 cult classic features new interviews with body-acceptance activists, health coaches, psychologists, and more, plus hundreds of quotes from fat folks and those who love them selected from a survey conducted exclusively for the book. From taking your clothes off to BDSM to fat admiration to tips for successful long-term relationships, Big Big Love’s savvy, sane advice can help you tackle every hot-button issue you may confront in the bedroom and in love.
Synopsis
A comprehensive guide on the how-tos and why-tos of love, romance, and great big sexuality for everyone—regardless of gender or orientation—from the chubby to the supersized.Big Big Love is the only handbook on sex, sexuality, and sexual self-confidence for people who know that a love life isn’t dictated by the number on a bathroom scale. Covering the ins and outs of sex toys, sex aids, and positions for larger lovers, this guide also takes on tricky topics like the fear of being seen naked and living in a culture where no body is ever perfect enough. Featuring advice on medical issues and activism, along with expert interviews on topics like fat-admirer culture, Big Big Love tackles every hot-button issue people of size will confront in the bedroom and in love.
About the Author
Author and historian Hanne Blank is the writer or editor of six books about sexuality/erotica with a title on heterosexuality forthcoming from Beacon Press. Her work has been featured in Penthouse, Lillith, and Bitch. She has been interviewed on NPR and BBC 4, spoken at numerous campuses and conferences, and taught at Brandeis and Tufts universities. She lives with her spouse, cats, and dog.
Table of Contents
Preface xi
A Brief Introduction, with a Side of Debunking 1
Chapter One BODY AND SOUL 19
What You Can Expect 20
Things Would Be So Different If They Were Not as They Are 25
Physical “Fit-ness” 29
The Shape of Things 32
Dressing the Part 36
Interview: Playing Dress-Up with Lesley Kinzel 38
Cleanliness Is Next to Sexiness 40
When Your Body Changes 44
Weight-Loss Dieting and Your Sex Life 47
Move It 49
Chapter Two WHO’S WHO 53
Straight but Not Narrow 54
Fat Admirers 56
Fat Asexuals: Probably Not What You’re Thinking 58
Chubbies and Chasers and Bears, Oh My! 61
Glorious Dykes 62
Bi and Large 64
Trans Fats 65
Fat and Kinky 67
Chapter Three GETTING A GRIP 69
Changing What You See 70
Fake It ’Til You Make It 73
Interview: Seeing Your Attractiveness More Clearly with Golda Poretsky 74
Tell Me What You Want 80
On Being a Sex Object 83
The Naked Truth 91
Interview: Taking It Off for the Camera with Substantia Jones 94
The Belly Dance 98
Friendly Fire 101
Strategies and Comebacks 103
Interview: Sheila Addison, Psychologist 104
Chapter Four FOR FAT ADMIRERS ONLY 111
Dear Fat Admirer 112
Coming Out 115
Interview: Coming Out with Yohannon 118
How Not to Be an Asshole 122
Axis of Allies 127
Chapter Five TO YOUR HEALTH! 133
Your Rights as a Fat Sexual/Reproductive Health Care Consumer 134
Fertility, Contraception, and Pregnancy 136
Sexually Transmitted Infections and Safer Sex 138
OW! Preventing Sex Injuries 141
Dysfunction Junction 144
Keeping Your Head When Your Feet Are in the Stirrups 148
PCOS 153
Lipedema and Lymphedema 155
Gynecomastia 157
Chapter Six GETTING PHYSICAL 159
Yes! Yes! Yes! 160
Assume the Position 163
Masturbation 166
Penetrative Sex 169
Oral Sex 174
Getting on Top 175
Fat Porn and Erotica 177
Sex Toys and Accessories 180
Beyond Vanilla 183
BDSM 185
Fat as Fetish 189
Feederism 192
Fat Sex Questions Greatest Hits 195
Resource Guide 203
General Sex Education and Information 204
Special Issue Sex Education and Information 205
Fat Acceptance and Size Acceptance 206
Health and Wellness 208
Hygiene Aids 209
Movement and Injury Prevention 209
Social and Dating Resources 210
Size-Positive Imagery, Erotica, and Pornography 212
Sex Toys and Accessories 214
Fat-Friendly Sex Toy and Accessories Vendors 215
Lingerie and Clothing 216
About the Author 217
Index 218