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CHAPTER ONE

CRACKING THE COMEBACK CODE

I can choose either to be a victim of the world

or an adventurer in search of treasure.

It's all a question of how I view my life.

—PAULO COELHO, NOVELIST

Two kinds of players show up in sports and life: the contender and the champion.

The contender, threatened by the prospect of competition and failure, either refuses help or expects others to do the hard work he should be doing himself. You can picture the contender's attitude like a downward- pointing triangle.

The Contender

In contrast, the champion seeks out tough challenges and opportunities to learn and grow and looks for support and feedback from teammates, coaches, and others. Picture this perspective like an upward-pointing triangle.

The Champion

A champion, unlike a contender, regroups after inevitable setbacks and emerges stronger. A champion embraces difficult and demanding situations and learns from both triumph and failure.

"Life is not a spectator sport," said baseball legend Jackie Robinson. "If you're going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you're wasting your life." In other words, to make the journey more worthwhile, life should be viewed as a participatory sport- -play life!

Everyone can, and should, come down from the grandstand and embrace challenges on the field of play. That's how we move from being spectators to being contenders. Once taking on challenges becomes a habit, you truly become a champion. Participate, participate, and participate in your sport— no matter the challenges or obstacles ahead.

The ability to step up to challenges is important in all aspects of life, and it's a key ingredient of happiness and success. Challenges will appear in all sorts of situations, from trying out for a team to working on a new move or skill (and putting it into action during a game or scrimmage) to pitting yourself against stronger competition or trying a new fitness activity. These situations will likely involve emotional and physical discomforts and the risk of failure and rejection, but these are all part of the process of becoming a champion.

Consider this story: The day after graduating from high school, Vanessa paused in front of a storefront she had breezed past so many times before. This time, on a whim, Vanessa opened the door and walked right under the beat-up EXPERT PSYCHIC READINGS sign. A gentle middle-aged woman greeted her before giving her a not-so-gentle reading: "You have a most miserable future." Vanessa was determined to escape her fate. She tried to defy the prediction by being extremely cautious, never taking risks, and steering away from anything that might cause her harm. At the ripe old age of 100, Vanessa took her last breath and realized—too late—that the fortune- teller's prediction had come true. She had led an empty, miserable life.

It may seem counterintuitive, but failure is the greatest teacher. We learn best by making mistakes or experiencing disappointments. If you allow the fear of failure to prevail, then you've already ensured your own failure by depriving yourself of life's greatest teacher. As all-time hockey great Wayne Gretzky said, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."

In sports, in particular, athletes receive instant feedback on their performance, what works and what doesn't—and that's a great thing! It means they've just learned something new about their game and have the opportunity to improve. Weaknesses can always be turned into strengths.

Do you give up after just one loss or a tough race, game, or meet? It's important to realize that all champions have lost and made mistakes—more than you can count! Psychiatrist Milton Erickson said, "Along with successes, collect a proper number of failures." Collecting failures in sports is how you retool and return to competition as a superior athlete. Look at it this way: Failures can be a source of motivation, not discouragement.

You must, however, make adjustments, big and small. Think of the Jewish proverb "I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders." The contender yearns to lighten the load, while the champion wants the ability to take on more. This is a crucial distinction, because we can't always control the demands placed on us; all we can do is have the mental fortitude to respond. Starting now, instead of cursing daily difficulties, ask yourself, "How can I best carry my load?"

This adjustment requires you to redefine difficulties as challenges. Contenders feel threatened by playing against stiff competition or trying new fitness challenges. They are worried about falling behind or receiving negative evaluations or criticism from others and are intimidated by the prospect of physical discomfort.

Contenders don't seem to have much fun playing. They either complain about everything or deny having any issues ("I'm good!") and distract themselves to escape their problems. If they try to deal with everything on their own, it will take them longer to achieve their goals, assuming they can do that at all.

Unlike contenders, champions thrive on embracing challenges because these challenges push them and make them feel most alive, improve their competitiveness as athletes, and allow them to mature as individuals. In fact, champions see everything as a trial that tests and improves them.

This point is critical: How you think about an upcoming performance and what will happen to you (facing a challenge, losing a point, making a mistake) will significantly influence your feelings and actions. If you view an upcoming situation as a threat, then you will panic and perform poorly. You might even completely avoid the situation.

By the same token, if you view the upcoming performance as a challenge, then you can get excited. By overcoming your initial fears and gaining confidence, you will be highly motivated and have the freedom to perform your best and you will focus only on the things you can control. At this point and in this frame of mind, you will take on challenges like a champion.

"There's always going to be adversity, there's always going to be challenges, and those are all opportunities to rise above," said Kobe Bryant, a five-time NBA champion with the Los Angeles Lakers. What he is implying is that after a setback, contenders collapse while champions rise.

Comebacks can be small, such as recovering from an error or a penalty in a game, or large, such as returning to a sport after a major injury or a long absence. For a champion, there is nothing more magnificent or memorable than making a major comeback. The bigger the setback, the more opportunities to learn and the more glory and satisfaction to be gained upon a successful comeback.

A champion must respond to some, and possibly all, of these 12 common athletic setbacks.

1.A mistake or an error

2.Being down in a game (or race, fight, match, series)

3.One or more shattering defeats

4.Crushing disappointment

5.A close call or a near victory

6.Being benched

7.A performance slump

8.The low (or high) expectations of others

9.An injury or an illness

10.An extended absence

11.Feeling pressure to continue winning

12.A fitness slump

How will you achieve your goal and how can you adapt and respond to various challenges? Going through setbacks in sports and other areas of life is perfectly normal, as nobody can avoid such things. How you choose to deal with setbacks—such as threats or challenges—is what makes the difference. "One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth," wrote psychologist Abraham Maslow. "Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again."

We all want to make thinking, feeling, and acting like a champion part of our everyday life because, let's face it, demands and difficulties are part of all aspects of life. Making the move from contender to champion means stepping out of your comfort zone, calling on your inner strength and supporters, and reframing tough situations as growth opportunities and chances for comebacks.

Getting to the top requires hard work, good luck, and positive support. However, a comeback adds the potential of failure, injury, fear, and criticism. Which sounds harder? A comeback, of course.

Here are the 7 L's that champions use to crack the Champion's Comeback Code.

1.LET GO—release the mental brick

2.LOOK FOR SUPPORT—build a winning team

3.LOVE THE GAME—compete with purpose and passion

4.LEARN—embrace a growth mind-set

5.LABOR—keep £ding the rock

6.LEARN OPTIMISM—believe in your comeback story

7.LEAN ON YOUR MENTAL GAME—win the game from within yourself

LET GO: RELEASE THE MENTAL BRICK

Renew, release, let go. Yesterday's gone. There's nothing you can do to bring it back. You can't "should've" done something. You can only do something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!

—STEVE MARABOLI, AUTHOR AND SPEAKER

We are not machines, we're humans made of bones, skin, and emotions. For almost all of life's important moments, you will follow routines or rituals, though they may differ from society to society and person to person. We perform them because they help us control our emotions, forge our ties with others, and move on to the next challenge.

Why does Rafael Nadal dominate the French Open? Sure, he £ds the ball with tremendous topspin during his matches and chases down every ball until his opponent collapses, but what is he thinking? A champion's thoughts. Just watch while the "King of Clay" sits and takes a break and you'll see him going through his mental and physical routines: Nadal takes two sips from two bottles, one with water, the other with an electrolyte mixture. He puts both bottles back in the same spot every time. With a towel on his lap, he breathes deeply. Racket in hand, he checks his strings.

Similarly, notice what LeBron James does during time-outs. What is the four- time NBA Most Valuable Player doing and where is his mind when he isn't running up and down the court making baskets? Note the mechanics of his break routine. He is supremely focused—not on yelling at fans or joking around but on simply stopping and resting. He takes a true break: Lebron takes two of sips of water, sits calmly, closes his eyes, and practices slow and deep breathing.

Rafael Nadal's and LeBron James's respective routines—their "habits of champions"—keep them focused, help them relax, and recharge the muscle that works the hardest in sports and in life: the brain.

So what's your routine?

Following a mistake by your team or a good play by the opposition, think "Drop it" or "Park it" and move on. Have a go-to phrase to release and quickly refocus on the purpose at hand. For instance, volleyball players can clap their hands and say "Next ball" after a missed shot or "Keep swinging" after getting a shot blocked.

After suffering a loss, how do champions move forward on a positive track instead of tracking the negative? Following any kind of setback, champions tell themselves and their teammates to have a "short memory." A short memory is the best medication for managing mistakes and losses throughout a long season. The next game provides a brand-new occasion to play like a champion.

After a setback or a failure, especially a devastating one, it can be important to implement a ritual that helps you turn the page. For example, after a shattering defeat, a team can dig a hole in the ground at their next practice and bury a game ball as a symbolic gesture to let go of that loss and look forward to the next game.

Leaving your game behind at the pitch, court, or rink is important. For self-care, especially after a difficult day, take a shower at night and wash everything away. Think, "I did what I could today," "I'm washing away what I saw and heard today," and "Today is done and now I'm ready for the next day." This physical and mental cleansing will give you a positive attitude and a renewed spirit.

LOOK FOR SUPPORT: BUILD A WINNING TEAM

Life is not a solo act. It's a huge collaboration, and we all need to assemble around us the people who care about us and support us in times of strife.

—TIM GUNN, ACTOR

When young athletes are developing, they are like sponges, quickly absorbing everything around them. More mature athletes are more like machines: Parts are locked in place, movements are grooved in, and skill sets are becoming dependable resources.

So what happens after a devastating loss, injury, or decline that challenges all prior approaches? Is it possible to adjust something by yourself that for years had worked well but now doesn't work anymore? Can you depend on old habits when facing new circumstances? Is the best approach to "do the same thing over and over again and yet expect different results?" This is the time to turn to a specialist, such as a mental coach, and learn new ways of doing old things.

Achieving your goals requires committed support along the way. To be a champion, take the initiative to speak to experts, such as sports coaches and sports psychologists, for specific guidance and reach out to family and friends for support. You will likely gain good information and feel better as a result.

For example, the modern game of tennis requires pros to travel with an entourage of fitness trainers, mental coaches, nutritionists, and others. Similarly, NFL teams have a comprehensive sports medicine team, IT staff, and many other employees. We too often just think a player is great on his or her own merit, but that's because the media pays very little attention to the support staff.

As far as your own "entourage" is concerned, make sure to surround yourself with positive people. To do this, take whatever steps are necessary to bring your support in closer. Limit contacts with people who drain your energy or distract you from your dreams. Remember, true friends and teammates lift you up. Be mindful but wary of the critics. In other words, don't drink the "hater-ade" that will likely be all around you.

Basketball player Christian Laettner is a prime example of how a champion faced a turning of the tide and used that energy to become even better. He led the Duke Blue Devils to back-to-back NCAA Championships, in 1991 and 1992, making several clutch shots—most famously, the buzzer beater to knock Kentucky out of the 1992 NCAA tournament. Laettner then played on the Dream Team that won gold in a dominant fashion at the 1992 Olympics. He retired after 13 seasons in the NBA, which included an all-star selection in 1997.

The ESPN 30 for 30 documentary "I Hate Christian Laettner" examines how the 6'11" center from Angola, New York, became the supervillain of college hoops. Duke fans loved him, but others loved to hate him. In March 2015, while promoting the documentary as a guest on ESPN's Mike & Mike Show, Laettner was asked whether he relished the fact that he was so hated. He said he tried to use the criticism to his advantage.